i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
