Where is the hickey?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
