I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
