My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
