awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
