Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
