I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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