I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
