she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
