i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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