I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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