I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
