I could have mohawked her pubes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
