i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
