Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
