That's intense
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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