He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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