guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
