um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
