he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
