Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
