what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
