apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
