I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize