there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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