Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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