We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
