Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he was CRYING into my vagina
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
