No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
