I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
