If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
