Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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