Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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