yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
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the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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