It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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