At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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