did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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