i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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