then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
