..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
