She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
