It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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