a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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