I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
