It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
