yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
