I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
