Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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