My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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