weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
