Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
