that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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