He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
