I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
