So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
