It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize