she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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